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Making Tough Decisions

Hey everyone!

Thank you so much for your patience during this time. I’ve been on a bit of a roller coaster the past couple of weeks. I won’t bore you with too many details, but I do think its very important for me to discuss the changes I am making to my original goals. Every journey is going to have speed bumps, hairpin turns, obstacles and roadblocks. Some people get lucky, and they don’t have to deal with them. I’ve never been one of those people, haha. When I set out to make this blog and to document my experiences, I really thought it was going to be a grand slam. That the accountability would push me even harder, that knowing people were counting on my success would make me even more likely to succeed. It didn’t happen that way.

At first, it seemed like it was going to work. I was losing weight at a decent pace and I was feeling really good about it. Then, I was hungry. I wasn’t just hungry. I was hangry. I craved everything. I was tired, cranky and complaining. I’m not that person normally. When I made this change, I didn’t realize how it would affect me mentally. So I took a break. I ate food, I had a drink. I celebrated a birthday by actually having some cake. And I felt better. Not because I over indulged, but because I needed more food to sustain my active lifestyle. My body was literally begging for something and I didn’t know what exactly to give it.

Its really hard for me to remember the success’ that I have made this year. I quit smoking cold turkey, Ive lost almost 50 pounds, I’ve created an actual plan for who I want to be in the future. I’ve become more mentally stable and more physically active than I have been in 10 years. Ive maintained a healthy, amazing relationship and I’ve become a better mother because of all of those things. I have been successful. Just because I am not at my final goal, doesn’t detract from the work I’ve put in and who I’ve become in the process.

After a lot of thought, and some tears… I have decided to take a break from actively losing weight and create a new goal of maintaining until the 1st of the year. Honestly, I’ve never been able to maintain. Either I am losing or I am gaining. This will be a challenge. Not only is it going to be hard for me to look at the scale and be ok with the same number showing up day after day after day, but finding the balance for my current body weight will be difficult too. I am going to eat all foods in moderation for the next 2 months and start losing again after I’ve given my body a chance to level out. This is part of my journey. This is not a roadblock or a speed bump. It’s part of losing weight. I’m not calling it a plateau, I’m calling it a reset. And it’s going to be really really hard for me to allow myself all foods without gaining weight. I hope you’ll stick around. 🙂

My new goal is staying at or under 155 pounds. It’s hard to love yourself when you’re destroying your body. That counts for over dieting and exercising too. Now… Just because I’m not going to be actively losing, doesn’t mean I am giving up my blog. I took this time off to really make a decision before I launched into this phase, but I’m ready. I’m going to be giving you good content, facts, helpful tips, things that I have learned and testimonials from others. I want you to continue to be excited about creating a better version of yourself. I want to be a part of that, to inspire and to motivate. I encourage you to ask questions, voice concerns and participate in the making of your own life. You are worth it. You are worth having the body, endurance and happiness you want to have. It’s not easy, but you’ll be so proud of yourself once you start, and as each milestone passes. Make yourself a small goal and rise to it. You’ve got this. And I’m here for you.

Love&Light

-Lainey

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lifestyle change, pictures, positivity, progress, support, weight loss

A Snapshot of 2015

Hey guys!

Here is my most recent “progress picture”. It shows me at 155.5. I took it on September 18th. (Before my weekend in Breck)

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I wanted to give you guys a little peek into the positives. These are the updates I had in 2015 as I shared with my friends and family on Facebook. I’ll go further in depth about the couple of months I really didn’t show any progress on another blog post some time this week.

The point I want to make is that it is imperative to celebrate your success’ as they come. You may not be anywhere near your final goal, but progress is progress. Everyone has to start somewhere and you need to be proud of yourself and the steps you take along the way. Some people advise not to tell anyone you are trying to lose weight or make a lifestyle change because it makes you look like a fool if you fail.

“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

I feel the opposite. I have an amazing support system in my friends and family. I know for a fact that they want to see me succeed. I feel pushed as well as motivated by them. If you do not have people in your life that make you feel this way, find an online community that does. Places like reddit have amazing groups of people that will be there to support you and will give you a shoulder to lean on when you need it. On top of that, if you don’t have anyone in your life that will support you in your decision to become a better version of yourself… Perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate some things and make some major changes.

That being said, here are my success’ from 2015. Care to share some of yours?

Love&Light – Lainey

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One Calorie at a Time

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Good evening friends!

I know a lot of you struggle with self image. I do. Every damn day. I think, why should I like what I look like in the mirror when it makes me so mad. I consider the abuse I’ve put my body through, and decide to punish instead of embrace. This is a daily occurrence. It wasn’t until I started taking the time to make myself better that my own self confidence shifted from pure hatred to more of an understanding. It is something I have to work on, something I have to actively put effort into. I get it.

I’d like to talk about body acceptance and what I’ve discovered. A forewarning for you, I am not going to sugar coat. Reality is that CICO (Calories In, Calories Out) works because, science. If you take in too much fuel, you will be too heavy. If you don’t give yourself enough fuel, then you won’t be able to function properly. The problem is, we have become a very lazy race. In 1st world countries, very few humans do the amount of physical labor we need to burn off the amount of fuel we are partaking in. We sit at computers. We sit on couches and watch TV. We sit and play video games. We sit and drive cars. We sit and eat. And eat. And eat. Most of us can’t even recognize proper portions any more. As a country, we have become accustomed to huge meals and no movement. If you want to change, you have to change the way you look at food and remember, the body you have now is the only body you get. How do you want to treat it?

Tonights TidBit:

I log everything I eat BEFORE I eat it. If I see with my eyes how that [food] is going to affect my day, there is a good chance I will make the proper decision regarding if it goes into my body or not. I’ll also be able to check portion sizes ahead of time, instead of finishing my meal, inputting it, and realizing I can’t eat for the rest of the day. I said this above, I’ll say it again… Your body only needs so much fuel to function properly. If you are at the proper weight for your height, then you know the amount you need to make your body work at premium levels. If you are not, and are looking to lose, then you have to create a deficit until you’re at the right weight. This is basic. But Oh My Goodness, is it hard. Don’t get me wrong… I had a glorious tri tip tonight and had to eat with slow, deliberate bites because a 3 oz portion of meat (the serving size) is the size of a deck of cards. Am I full? Yes. But I drank 30 ounces of water before, during and after my dinner. I think the telling thing about my dinner tonight is that I absolutely could have eaten 5 servings of that meat. It was freakin delicious. We give in to our wants so often when it comes to food that we completely forget our needs. Be mindful of what you are putting into your body. Is it fuel or are you eating for a different reason?

Day Three/Ninety

7am weigh in – 156.8 lbs — Down 1.7/25 lbs

15,000 steps, Beach Body & ate at calorie limit. I STILL haven’t started running as I’m feeling just so tired. This proves that my calorie limit is correct since I am losing weight with just my steps & Beach Body as my activity.

Day Four/Ninety

7am weigh in – 156 lbs — Down 2.5/25 lbs

I got 19,000 steps in today. O_O I did go over a little bit on calories, coming in at 1250 for the day. No other workouts done. I was completely pooped from work.

Day Five/Ninety

7am weigh in – 154.5 lbs — Down 4/25 lbs

WooooHoooo! This is the lowest weight I have been in about 10 years. It might be even more. About 11 years ago I got married, and I was able to get down to 135. I know I was around 160 right before I got pregnant and 155 was the lowest recorded weight I’ve had at any point since. I have officially jumped the hurdle. I am celebrating by doing the incline tomorrow. Haha!

One of the major things I have changed about myself is taking away food as a crutch, but also as a reward. Yes, I have cheat days (I gained 3 pounds on a wonderful weekend up in Breckenridge), but I don’t consider it a reward. I am fully aware that I am going to have to work hard again to get those pounds to leave.

Now that I’ve gotten to this point, I’m going to commit to starting C25K this week. My body likes movement, a lot. It likes to be active and I like the feeling of being active. It helps me to think more clearly, pulls me out of any momentary depression and makes me more creative. This needs to happen. It will happen tomorrow.

Thanks for being here. I appreciate you!

Love&Light – Lainey

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Speed Bumps Already!?!

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Hey guys!

It’s my first update! Woohoo! So I’ve already hit a speed bump, but that’s normal for any journey. I don’t think you can get through a major life or habit change without dealing with obstacles. I am super excited to be on this path, and even more excited that despite issues right out of the gate, I’m still 100% motivated to keep going. I’d like to say thank you to everyone who has encouraged me so far. Even just “liking” the link does a lot for me, knowing you are watching.

Alright, so I started my 90 day challenge yesterday. Here are the goals I have set for myself.

  1. Daily Activity & Daily Logging- Literally as basic as it sounds. Even on days off, I have to move. At MINIMUM, I will meet my 10K steps per day fitbit goal and I will not go over 1100 calories.
    1. Be my friend on Fitbit (elaine.denise84@gmail.com) and MyFitnessPal (elainedenise2014)
  2. No drinking alcohol. This is going to be a beast to get through, seeing as I have chosen to do this challenge through Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, my birthday & New Years. I am not a big drinker these days, but I do enjoy a few drinks with friends and family.
  3. Pack a lunch for work. No more eating “junk” because I was too lazy to take the time to pack a decent meal.
  4. IF – Intermittent fasting. I will eat between 11:30am and 7pm and not outside those hours. For more information on IF and its benefits, see here.
  5. C25K. I am using this app. It is an easy way for non-runners to go from sitting on the couch to running a 5k. Seeing as it’s only 3 days per week, it makes it actually do-able. And it’s FREE.
  6. Drink insane amounts of water. Not for reals insane… Just a lot. One of the main reasons people don’t lose weight is because they are severely dehydrated. Making sure my body has what it needs to function allows it to drop the unneeded fat faster.
  7. Beach Body 30 Day Challenge. After that, The Insanity Workout. Those two will get me through my 90 days without having to add additional “training”.
  8. Sleep. Sleep, sleep, sleep. I am going to try for 7 hours a night. I normally get 5-6 because I’m a night owl. I feel so much better when I get the right amount, so I’ve added it to my challenge.
  9. Yoga at least once per week, but I’m going to try for more. This, coupled with using the sauna 3 times per week should keep my muscles loose and prevent injury.
  10. Finally, I’m doing the incline every Tuesday.

Day One/Ninety

–10/1/2015–

7am weigh in – 158.5 lbs — Down 0/25

Day one started without a hitch. I logged my calories, got 10k+ steps, did my IF and completed day one of the Beach Body Challenge. About an hour before I got off work, I started getting an insane one sided headache. It got worse as the night went on, despite taking ibuprofen and laying down. As I was doing my planks, I could feel the banging on the right side of my head like someone was literally punching me. I decided that even though it was my first day, I needed to forgo running for the evening. I was extremely upset and was feeling like a failure, but my loving boyfriend reminded me of all the ways I succeeded. It brought me to a place of peace, just realizing that I could keep going forward no matter what. I went to bed before 10pm and rested, which allowed me to wake up without a headache.

Beach Body: 2 60 second planks and 50 crunches.

Day Two/Ninety

–10/2/2015–

7am weigh in – 158.2 lbs — Down .3/25

Today was awesome. Waking up to a loss was fantastic. I know it seems small, but for someone who is actively putting SO MUCH effort into losing weight, .3 is amazing. I completed all of my goals today. A lot of people don’t understand how little 1100 calories is. I am going to go ahead and posts todays food diary so that you can see. I won’t do this every day. In fact, in the future, I’ll probably only post exceptional days, bad days or ones I feel you would gain something to see. I feel like I’m already motivating people to make changes in their lives, based on what I’m hearing from friends and family. If nothing else comes of this blog other than reaching my goals, THAT is what I want it to be.

Beach Body: 100 bicycle crunches and 2 30 second planks. 100 squats.

Breakfast Calories Carbs Fat Protein Sodium Sugar
Coffee With Half N Half – Coffee, 2 Medium Coffee 100 2 28 2 50 2
100 2 28 2 50 2
Lunch
String Cheese – Natural String Cheese, 2 stick (28 gr) 160 2 10 14 380 0
Outtakes – Cottage Cheese, 0.25 cup 41 2 1 7 230 2
Kirkland Signature- Honey Roasted Turkey Breast – Lunch Meat, 2 slice(35g) 90 4 1 16 320 4
Sante Fe Tortilla Company – Homestyle Whole Grain Tortilla, 1 tortilla 100 13 4 8 328 0
391 21 15 45 1,258 6
Dinner
Kirkland – Bacon, 2 slices (18g) 80 0 6 6 350 0
kirkland – Shredded Cheddar Cheese, 0.25 cup 83 1 7 5 135 0
Homemade Aas – 2 Scrambled Eggs, 1 eggs 60 1 5 6 65 0
Tyson – Breakfast Sausage Patties, 1 PATTIE 130 1 10 9 330 0
353 2 27 26 880 0
Snacks
Quest – Cookies and Creme, 1 bar 180 22 7 21 310 1
180 22 7 21 310 1
Totals 1,024 47 77 94 2,498 9
Your Daily Goal 1,680 21 84 211 2,300 48
Remaining 656 -25 6 116 -197 39
Calories Carbs Fat Protein Sodium Sugar
*You’ve earned 580 extra calories from exercise today
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The Beginning

Ok. Let’s be honest. Life is fucking crazy. Things rarely turn out the way you thought they would. I am a perfect example of what happens when you have to grow up. To make a long story short, I got married young, had a baby, became unhealthy, lazy and sick. I stayed in a bad marriage far too long and added some situational depression into the mix. Life kind of sucked for awhile. For many years, I was made to feel like my opinion was useless, that my time wasn’t valuable and that I wouldn’t be loved by anyone else. I had no desire to better myself because inside, I had nothing left.

I was able to muster up the strength to get a divorce. Nope, things didn’t immediately get better. In fact, I’d say that mentally, they got worse. I was recovering from a bad marriage but I was also dealing with trying to fix 8 years of losing all self worth. That part is way harder than I thought it would be. I got divorced in 2011 and slid downhill steadily for about a year and a half after that.

I began the slow ascent back to the surface around the middle of 2013. Mentally, I was coming to terms with who I wanted to be, and what I needed to do, but I was also in the midst of my worst weight gain and a diagnosis of Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue. I was sick, weak and tired all the time. Being given an excuse to be sick is almost worse than not knowing. Instead of trying to get better, I was just throwing it back at myself. “Oh, I’m having a fibro flare up, so I should just eat this pizza and lay on the couch doing nothing for 4 days.” I made it severely worse by giving in to the idea that I couldn’t do anything about it. On top of this, I was smoking a pack a day or more. I ballooned up to 202.2 pounds. I am only 5’1″, so this put me at a BMI of 38.2. Obese Class II. That’s really bad, just so you know.

Life changed when I changed it. There was no miracle cure, no pill, no specific Ah-Ha moment… I just decided that enough was enough and made the decision to fix it. One day I finished a pack of cigarettes and decided not to buy another. (I credit that to Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr.) That was on December 16, 2014. I have not had any nicotine since that day. It took a little longer to jump into my major life change, but it was a start. That was the beginning of my taking control of my life, and finding myself pretty imperfect, but worthy of having an amazing journey.

I began on January 4, 2015 and haven’t looked back.

To Be Continued.

Love & Light ~ Lainey

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Goodbye Potatoes

So this is where it gets good. Other than giving birth to a human being, this is the accomplishment I am most proud of. I’m not even close to being done, but I’ve stuck to a task longer than I ever have before. I have a tendency to start a lot of “projects” and barely get to the second installment before I’ve lost all motivation and moved on to doing either nothing or something else. Those who know me best understand that I have the best of intentions and very little follow through when it comes to my own personal assignments.

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First photo is approximately September/October 2013. Second photo is after about 30/35 pounds lost.

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First photo is at my current weight of 158.5. Second photo is unknown weight, but before I started losing.

On January 4, 2015, I made the decision to quit being a mopey, sorry assed person and be in control of my own destiny. As my last post stated, I started at 202.2 pounds, with a BMI of 38.2 (Obese Class II). I lost the most weight between 1/4/15 and 6/15/15. At the end of June, my boyfriend and I took a weeklong epic trip to Vegas and it’s been slow and steady since then. I’ve had some serious self control issues the past couple months and this is one of the reasons I am starting this blog. My other reason for documenting my progress is because by this time next year, I’d like to be a certified personal trainer. I can’t do that unless I can prove that I can meet my goals, be healthy, productive and motivate others to do so for themselves.

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First photo was after about 20 pounds lost. Second photo is at 160 lbs.

Here is a snapshot of where I am right now. (I gained 3 pounds this past weekend in Breckenridge)

  • Height 5’1″
  • Weight 158.5
  • BMI – 30.0 (overweight)

Measurements

  • Upper Arm – 13.5 in
  • Bust – 40 in
  • Waist – 35.5 in
  • Hips 44 in
  • Thigh 25 in

I did not take measurements when I started my journey, but I was in a size 18 pant that was too tight. I refrained from ever buying a 20, but I know I should have. In total, I’ve lost 43.7 pounds so far. I did this by going very low carb and CICO (Calories In, Calories Out). I have stayed between 1100 and 1400 calories a day.

Now the fun part!! 😛

I am setting a goal to lose 25 pounds before the end of this year. If I can lose more, that would be a bonus, but 25 pounds is a solid 2 pounds a week which is hard enough to attain. I am going to do this with a modified 90 day challenge. Starting tomorrow, I will weigh in daily, take measurements weekly and post progress pictures every 2 weeks. I will be blogging my daily weight, food diary and workouts on a daily basis. I welcome any comments, questions or input.

Here’s how I’m going to do it.

My TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure) needs 1816 calories to maintain my current weight. I need to create a deficit of 1000 calories a day to lose 2 pounds a week. I am not going to be able to do this strictly by eating less so I’m adding in a lot of extra movement.

My daily goal for max calories will be 1100. I am going to do Beach Body 30 Day Challenge and C25K to create the added calorie burn. In addition, I will make sure to get at least 10,000 steps per day and take time to meditate and use the sauna. After the 30 day Beach Body Challenge, I will be doing the Insanity Workout for the next 60 days. I will be eating back calories over my 1000/daily deficit. This is going to be really hard. But I know I can do it. It’s only 90 days, and it will get me to a stronger, healthier, happier me. I’ll be able to start 2016 proud that I accomplished so much and it will give me the added confidence to start my personal trainer certification.

Please stay with me on this journey. I would love the added accountability, support and of course, if I can help you in any way at all, I am here for you!!

Love & Light – Lainey